Our ears are forever growing

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April 03, 2017

part two: you had me at bob

I had bought a Bob Dylan vinyl earlier in the year in summer, straight after returning from Thailand. I was skint, swimming in the deep-end of my overdraft but I didn't care sacrificing £16.99. Missing out on a social event or a fancy top, in comparison for the vast relief Bob was about to bring me was going to be so worth it.
The front to back listening sessions would often end with soaked cotton sleeves and red rimmed eyes. I was struggling to comprehend all of the changes which were spinning webs in my young life. But the undying love for Bob had not changed, not since those days of late high school and college.
Those words and strings I had missed for so long were greased in seconds, the love returned. He bought me relief from the dark, negative thoughts I was scared of drowning in. I had no idea what I was doing or whether what I was doing was going to be worth it. His words bought a hint familiarity and hope back into my thinking streams.
And then you said hi. you invited me out. you kissed me. you came round with Bob in cellophane. Well, I was obsessed. I listened to it throughout that next week, looking for clues about you. I began to challenge whether I liked it more than Freewheelin' Bobby D but I couldn't make my mind up. I merely floated around with an embarrassingly smitten smile on my face. It became the start of something. The demands of my course and life began to ease and my self-discipline completely diminished. I swore not to fall so quick, to not love so quick, but you had me at Bob.

14th february 2017

January 24, 2017

we are here and you will listen

Even though the world is fucked, in amongst all of the fuckery is hope and union. I am incredibly proud and thankful to live amongst like-minded individuals who detest the recent events unfolding on this spherical mushy planet.

I avoid world news consciously because it infuriates me. This does not mean I am deaf to it. For I simply know, my generation is a powerful generation. With all we have had thrown at us, we have somehow overcome. Increased tuition fees, cut loans, cuts to college funds, increased bus fares, the recession, the lack of jobs for those with qualifications, housing prices, the internet, social media, the press. We are not afraid to leap into the centre of the problems and push and pull until our voices are heard. We are loud. We are strong. We are the millennials. 

We are here.

January 04, 2017

Let me tell you about my two thousand and sixteen.


I had my first full blown panic attack, I visited Mollie in her temporary French home (Lille) and then travelled up to Amsterdam with the girls, I finished a dissertation at a satisfactory standard and sustained a love for the author I studied the ins and outs of (Ian McEwan) somehow, I gained some weight, I finished working at my favourite place of employment 'Jack Wills', my family successfully adopted two little girls (my sisters), I moved from Chester, I travelled to Thailand for five weeks, me and my ex-boyfriend of two and a half years separated, I developed crippling depersonalisation, I got a new part-time job at Tesco, I began my PGCE at MMU, an old friend said hey, I started my first placement, I graduated with my family by my side, my mental illnesses began to subside and I started to write again.

This year has been a big ole smoothie of shit and glee for me; two opposing emotions which culminated into molten lava of confusion. All I know is that this past year has changed me, I can feel it; however I could not tell you how and in which way, I just simply have. Hopefully for the better.

This year all I hope for is good health and employment.

Here we go...